A refrigerator magnet reads:

 Turns out there is no award for alphabetizing your spices.

Best sign in a store:

 Unattended children will be served Espresso and given a Free Puppy!

This sign appears near the soccer fields at our local community college---

 "All Dogs Must Be On A Leash And Pick Up After Dogs"

 

Our dogs are getting smarter and more environmentally conscious!

A gift bag reads  "Way Cooler Than My Kids Think I Am"

Bumper Sticker:
EAT A PRUNE and start a movement

Bumper Sticker:

Money is the root of all EVIL.
(Send $9.95 for more info.)

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

A sign in Melford, Pennsylvania reads:
"Specializing in ear, nose, and throat. Office in the rear."

This sign was seen in a hospital corridor--
Notice:
Due to current budget cutbacks, the Light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until further notice.

Teamwork is Essential!! It allows you to blame Someone Else
Sign in a wallpaper and paint store:  "Husbands choosing colors must have notes from their wives."
WARNING TO ALL PERSONNEL...

Firings will continue until morale improves.
I saw this on a T-shirt at Le Gourmet Chef:

The only problem with Italian food is that you're hungry again after three days!
My aim is to keep this bathroom clean....
Your aim would help.
MARRIAGE is finding that special someone you want to annoy the rest of your life.
Good judgment comes from experience.....
Experience comes from BAD judgment.
Bumper Sticker:
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?